Do you ever think about death, dying or funerals? Grave Talk is an opportunity to chat about them in a friendly, non-threatening way. The Pastoral Care Group offered two sessions for us to share thoughts and questions around these topics on 12 & 13 November 2024, and may do so again in the future.
Any of the clergy or a member of the Pastoral Care Group would be happy to talk with you if you still have further questions. You may find the following notes helpful.
When a death happens
Many people say they are never prepared for grief until a death happens. It’s then we need some help and support. When someone close to us dies it can be a confusing, emotionally overwhelming time and while at the same time feeling under intense pressure to “organise” things. If you do not have family who can assist or they are far away, then the Cathedral clergy or a Cathedral Pastoral Visitor can assist with information, emotional support and prayer at this difficult time. You can contact the Cathedral Pastoral Visitors directly via John Vickerman, Cathedral Reader john@prodoc.plus.com or Linda Watson linda@prodoc.plus.com.
Canon John Paul Hoskins johnpaulhoskins@worcestercathedral.org.uk is the main clergy contact when it comes to organising funerals at the Cathedral. Whether you need help from the clergy or the Pastoral Care Group or not, do let us know of the death of your loved one and their name can be included in the prayers at Sunday worship.
Arranging a funeral
Funerals are for those left behind to express their grief and to celebrate the life of their loved one. In the past, there was basically one kind of funeral, everyone knew what was expected and the arrangements just happened automatically.
The average funeral in the UK costs around £5,000 (2024) but a simple funeral could be arranged for much less and prices can be much higher depending on requirements. There are so many variables that some people decide to make and pay for their funeral plans in advance, and these can be arranged with local undertakers. Even if you cannot pay for the funeral in advance it is helpful to relatives or your executor to write down what you would like for your funeral. Do you want a church service? Do you want to be buried or cremated and so on.
Today it is much harder for family in the midst of their grief to know what to do. Did Mum want a church funeral? Will the vicar do a service at the crematorium? Burial or cremation? Woodland burial or cemetery? It is really important to have discussed these things with your family or those who will be left to sort out your affairs.
Preparing for our own death
In the end, death faces us all. In our worship we proclaim our faith in “the resurrection of the body and life everlasting” through the death and Resurrection of Jesus Christ Our Lord. And yet, and yet facing up to death, even talking about it can be difficult. The Grave Talk sessions are a way of beginning to talk about death and dying, hopefully we will all feel more comfortable in talking about and praying about our own dying.
Many people want to make arrangements for their funeral in advance. If you wish to plan ahead for your funeral then begin the discussion with any of the clergy.
Want more information?
Information from Age UK
Bereavement Information Guide
https://www.ageuk.org.uk/information-advice/health-wellbeing/relationships-family/end-of-life-issues/bereavement-information-guide/
When someone dies information guide (PDF, 3 MB)
https://www.ageuk.org.uk/globalassets/age-uk/documents/information-guides/ageukig03_when_someone_dies.inf.pdf
Bereavement information guide (PDF, 3 MB)
https://www.ageuk.org.uk/globalassets/age-uk/documents/information-guides/ageukig32_bereavement_inf.pdf
How to be an executor information guide (PDF, 2 MB)
https://www.ageuk.org.uk/globalassets/age-uk/documents/information-guides/ageukil8_how_to_be_an_executor_inf.pdf
Find out more about Bereavement Support Payment
https://www.ageuk.org.uk/information-advice/money-legal/benefits-entitlements/bereavement-benefits/
Other sources of information
Information from Citizens Advice
https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/family/death-and-wills/what-to-do-after-a-death/
Advice from Worcester News
https://www.worcesternews.co.uk/memorials/bereavement-guide/how-to-organise-a-funeral/
Bereavement help
https://www.ataloss.org/